To put this in context I should say I'm one of the new breed of middle aged problem wine drinkers that the authorities are concerned about, consuming at least half a bottle of wine a night, at weekends often more...... and I have been doing this for the last seven years with hardly a break.
That's not to say I went from teetotal to binge drinker overnight seven years ago.... But almost!
I started drinking when I was 14, though not to the extent some teenagers do now, only at parties and family occasions and only a couple of glasses. Even when I was an older teenager or student I'd only have two halves of lager a couple of times a week... apart of course from at parties, though even then the type of behaviour witnessed in most town centres on a Friday night was deemed unacceptable.
That changed when I arrived in London and fell into a hard drinking crowd, we would drink at lunchtime and be waiting on the doorstep of the pub again at opening time. By now I'd switched to G+T's to go with the heartbreak. I knew it was time to slow down though when one morning I was shaking so much I had to have a drink before I could go to work.....I did cut down but I was still consuming a lot, if not half a bottle of gin a day as I had previously.
After about 5 years I met someone who didn't drink, I was back to drinking cups of tea at night with the occasional glass of wine with dinner and found no problem with not drinking at all while I was pregnant.
The abstemious life went on for more than a decade until I had a huge midlife crisis , lost 3 stone in as many months and basically became, almost overnight a drunkorexic .Drinking my calories rather than eating them . Eventually though I started eating too and of course the weight ,well half of it, crept back on.
So, why did I stop? Well a little while ago I saw the person who had set me off on the path to (Mother's) ruin and they had reinvented themselves , not smoking, cigarettes or anything else that they had been formally partial to, stopping drinking in dodgy pubs and not having relationships with people they shouldn't and wow did they look good on it! I felt about 150 in comparison. Of course like a battleship it takes a while to turn your life around, I've got a rescue dog, who has in turn, rescued me, I walk every day, I'm making a real effort to eat a far healthier balanced diet, and the crowning achievement , stopping drinking. I never thought I'd do it but I did and I have to say that after the first day I didn't miss it. I've realised that rather than an emotional crutch it was a tourniquet, stopping me thinking about how I felt about myself and others and what I really wanted from my life although that's not to say I've sorted it out!
I've lost weight, my skin looks better, my insomnia is much improved and I'm happier.
